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Apr. 18th, 2026 10:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pulmonaryarcheryReminder to myself that I need to 1. get my fishing license, 2. get all my documents for uni sorted out (WHY IS EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT!), 3. write back to a bunch of people, which is something I've seemed to have gotten quite bad at. I'm just never sure what to say.
SOMEONE reached out to me, one of the victims of my emotional dysregulation and attachment issues who I occasionally run to livejournal crying about. I felt fine and neutral and any possible written outburst was avoided for a couple days until I unintentionally came across some screenshots earlier today of our older exchanges. I became very emotional for a few minutes but moved on. I often wonder if the cruelty I felt he inflicted upon me was intentional or not. The likely conclusion is that this whole situation is the result of his boredom and my dramatic tendencies.
Went to the mall yesterday. It was fine, I don't really have anything to say about it. However, my most loneliest of moments happen to be felt while sitting in mall food courts. I think it's because I'm forced to observe my surroundings more, as opposed to not having so much time to think about what I'm seeing while quickly walking past everyone and everything, and I start to ruminate about how I'm always so alone. When I leave the house I always think of it as the big event that will turn my whole life around and fix me. Even the smallest outings.
Lots of D.S.R updates this week. I had no idea until someone sent them to me directly. I try to avoid all mention of massacres these days for my own wellbeing. I read through about two of the documents and I'm not sure if I should read the rest. I basically can't talk about him at all without my blog being nuked and I don't feel like making a new one. I think I want to exist separately from all that, at least for now. Just a couple hours before I saw it I was just thinking about how strange and dark that time in my life was, when I would spend so much time reading through court documents about a mass murderer and trying to format all the information in an easier to read way for other people. I don't think I really cared about anything else.
I've run out of things to say. Goodnight.
SOMEONE reached out to me, one of the victims of my emotional dysregulation and attachment issues who I occasionally run to livejournal crying about. I felt fine and neutral and any possible written outburst was avoided for a couple days until I unintentionally came across some screenshots earlier today of our older exchanges. I became very emotional for a few minutes but moved on. I often wonder if the cruelty I felt he inflicted upon me was intentional or not. The likely conclusion is that this whole situation is the result of his boredom and my dramatic tendencies.
Went to the mall yesterday. It was fine, I don't really have anything to say about it. However, my most loneliest of moments happen to be felt while sitting in mall food courts. I think it's because I'm forced to observe my surroundings more, as opposed to not having so much time to think about what I'm seeing while quickly walking past everyone and everything, and I start to ruminate about how I'm always so alone. When I leave the house I always think of it as the big event that will turn my whole life around and fix me. Even the smallest outings.
Lots of D.S.R updates this week. I had no idea until someone sent them to me directly. I try to avoid all mention of massacres these days for my own wellbeing. I read through about two of the documents and I'm not sure if I should read the rest. I basically can't talk about him at all without my blog being nuked and I don't feel like making a new one. I think I want to exist separately from all that, at least for now. Just a couple hours before I saw it I was just thinking about how strange and dark that time in my life was, when I would spend so much time reading through court documents about a mass murderer and trying to format all the information in an easier to read way for other people. I don't think I really cared about anything else.
I've run out of things to say. Goodnight.