NOTHING NEW IT'S THE SAME OLD RANT
May. 16th, 2026 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pulmonaryarcheryI always find myself panicking about how I wasted my teen years and my life is just so embarrassingly lonely. I see people younger than me having the time of their lives with all their friends and social outings and whatnot. However, I'm deeply comfortable living in isolation, don't really enjoy leaving the house, and RARELY talk to the same person for more than a day because most conversation simply isn't interesting to me.
To quote something I'm constantly saying: I'm just feeling really lost right now. (Is the "right now" really necessary if I've spent my entire life feeling lost?) I'm already consumed with regret about my life that I know will only get worse with age, but at the same time it's extremely difficult for me to maintain any sort of relationship because I just don't like talking to 95% of people. I'll start talking to someone and decide almost immediately "ugh, I'm over this, I don't want to talk to you". I wonder if I truly have the desire to branch out, or if it's only societal pressure getting to me, because I think I'm somewhat content(??) in my current routines. Again, just so confused and I don't even know what I'm feeling and what I really want.
Bought Saosin tickets for a few months from now. Love going to shows but seeing those payments on my debit card pains me. Two tickets for $100 isn't nearly as bad as what fans of pop music are paying to see their favorite singers though... Actually, not even just pop music fans, because when MCR came here last, the cheapest ticket was $250+ with a shit view. In 2022 I saw La Dispute for $20 or $25, and the same price to see both The Hotelier and Foxing in 2024. The venue for those shows was pretty terrible though. Paid a couple hundred dollars to see Brand New (even more for travel and hotel) but that was totally worth it.
Currently watching ANTM cycle 5. I love Jayla. I don't care if people think she's a bitch.
Edit: Checked Jayla's myspace and she has The Blood Brothers, Cursive, Glassjaw, Thursday, and a ton of other great bands listed. Ugh, love her!
To quote something I'm constantly saying: I'm just feeling really lost right now. (Is the "right now" really necessary if I've spent my entire life feeling lost?) I'm already consumed with regret about my life that I know will only get worse with age, but at the same time it's extremely difficult for me to maintain any sort of relationship because I just don't like talking to 95% of people. I'll start talking to someone and decide almost immediately "ugh, I'm over this, I don't want to talk to you". I wonder if I truly have the desire to branch out, or if it's only societal pressure getting to me, because I think I'm somewhat content(??) in my current routines. Again, just so confused and I don't even know what I'm feeling and what I really want.
Bought Saosin tickets for a few months from now. Love going to shows but seeing those payments on my debit card pains me. Two tickets for $100 isn't nearly as bad as what fans of pop music are paying to see their favorite singers though... Actually, not even just pop music fans, because when MCR came here last, the cheapest ticket was $250+ with a shit view. In 2022 I saw La Dispute for $20 or $25, and the same price to see both The Hotelier and Foxing in 2024. The venue for those shows was pretty terrible though. Paid a couple hundred dollars to see Brand New (even more for travel and hotel) but that was totally worth it.
Currently watching ANTM cycle 5. I love Jayla. I don't care if people think she's a bitch.
Edit: Checked Jayla's myspace and she has The Blood Brothers, Cursive, Glassjaw, Thursday, and a ton of other great bands listed. Ugh, love her!